Naile's Wedding

Naile's wedding was by far the best wedding I've been to in Azerbaijan. Much of that had to do with the fact that I wasn't stuck at at a table by myself with people I didn't know and who didn't speak any English. Being able to converse with friends makes events much more enjoyable. Mike came, too so that was definitely helpful. And this was the first wedding that I was good friends with the bride and Naile was my closest friend in Ganja. Although the wedding was very nice I am very sad to see her go.

Even though this was the best wedding I've been too it still did not differ significantly from all the other weddings I've been to or heard about. The food was the same- salads, kebabs, and plov, the music was the same-very loud and the dancing was the same. There was also the usual entourage of video and still cameras. There were three video cameras in all which blocked most of the action at the head table and frustrated Mike in his pursuit of the ever elusive "perfect shot." The wedding wouldn't need to be videotaped and broadcast live on T.V. if the cameramen weren't blocking the view all the time. So essentially you never see what's going on directly. You have to watch the wedding on one of the many t.v. sets mounted on the walls all around the room.

Naile had arranged for a table just for friends and co-workers from SOROS. So we all sat together, danced together, listened to speeches and took lots of pictures together. At weddings in Azerbaijan all the important people in the different aspects of the bride or grooms life are supposed to give a speech. The fathers give a speech, the mothers, the siblings, the uncles, the grandparents, colleagues, friends. Hasan, the director of SOROS was elected to represent the colleagues and friends. He tried to drag me and another American up there but we refused. We also knew that Hasan could handle speech giving on his own. He's notorious for getting up in any large crowd and pontificating about anything and everything. Tonight was no exception. True to form Hasan gave a lengthy address about Lenkaran and SOROS and America. As I had wagered he delivered the longest monologue of the evening. After the reps from a particular faction gives the speech then those people belonging that group must dance to the song celebrating that relationship. So after Hasan's speech we all got up and danced to the work colleagues song. I even got Mike off his chair!

The unexpected moment of the evening was the Plov presentation. Instead of a traditional Azeri dance it was a Spanish number and to my shock everyone around me loved it! It just re enforces my belief that most Azeris don't really like the traditional music at weddings but no one is daring enough to break from custom and try something new. Maybe in another 100 years or so it will be different. I'm not holding my breath!

The challenge for me was seeing Naile not as herself. It was really strange seeing her all dressed up. As Azeri girls go she dressed pretty casually without a lot of the bling and pizazz that most girls have. Simple beauty. She was also without her usual smile and laughter. What I most treasure in Naile is her sense of humor and we spent many days laughing and joking. Weddings are a non-smiling event. I'm still not 100 percent sure why its improper to smile and laugh- especially for the bride. Females laughing in public is generally considered inappropriate and weddings are considered a solemn occasion so its probably a combination of those things. What was funny was that half the time you could tell Naile was trying very hard NOT to laugh and smile.

But of course the highlight of the evening was the grand finale- the bouquet toss. Unlike in the U.S. the toss is for anyone who is single so the men are jockeying for position along with the ladies. Naile's cousin who is well over 6 feet tall placed himself right up front blocking everyone behind him and he would box out anyone who tried to get in front. But his bullying failed and the flowers tipped off his fingers and into my hands! The first one I've ever caught. I don't think Mike was very happy about it, though. He may bail out before that time comes.

Although the wedding was nice, as with most all weddings I've been to here, I'm never overcome with happiness for the couple, especially the woman. Although being unmarried here has its disadvantages, I've seen few happy marriages

and especially happily married women. I hope

Naile will be happy, I hope more that her new husband treats her with love and respect and I hope his family(they will be living with his parents) will be good to her, too.

Hasan's soliloquy

Aren't we cute!

Here's a picture of me with Seva, Naile's sister. She just came back from studying at Columbia in the U.S. The other two guys are Tural and Farid, friends of Naile and two of my students and softball players. They are both really great guys.

The amazing Spanish plov (pronounced plofe)